


He's A Crack Shot For Love

by BirdyBanter



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22778305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdyBanter/pseuds/BirdyBanter
Summary: Hutch is a good cop in need of a partner. Starsky is an ex-soldier turned hired killer. Their paths cross in a twist on The Fix
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson & David Starsky
Kudos: 17





	He's A Crack Shot For Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reversal of my other AU this time Hutch is the good cop. Starsky is a bad guy, but most people deserve a second chance, don't they? Warnings for violence and non-consensual drug use. Hope you enjoy and constructive comments are welcome.

He was a crack shot. He never missed his target. And he never asked questions either. This guy wouldn’t be any different he told himself after checking out the picture of the man again. Sure he was younger than most of the other people he had sent on their way and prettier too if he was being honest but even if it was a shame to waste such beauty, as long as the money was good and it was good. He wouldn’t let it matter too much. His conscience was no longer clean and so what did a bit of extra dirt matter anyway. That was what he learnt being in the army. He was a trained killer and part of that training was to rid yourself of thoughts like; this man is someone’s son, brother maybe even father. The enemy is just that in war, thinking otherwise makes you hesitate and it’s your family who’ll suffer the loss of a loved one and it’s better his than yours. Of course, that wasn’t the case here, there was no need to kill this man. But then he knew there never really was. He never believed the killing he did in the war was patriotic or for the greater good. What good did it do anyone? None. Those men died for nothing, just like this one would, politics, jealousy, greed, whatever the motive the outcome was the same. The only difference was he was getting paid a hell of a lot more to do it.

This was the time and the place he was told and he was in a good position. The young blond-haired man had just pulled up, got out of an old heap of a car and walked out onto the street. The assassin checked his sights as he watched the blond. He would get a clean shot from here alright. No point in the guy suffering after all. He was going to take the shot. But then another car pulled up and this time it was a cop car. That put him on edge, was this a set up? As a couple of men got out of the cop car the blond went over to one of them. He put his hand out and the cop took it. Then the cop patted the blond on the shoulder and then the blond walked down the street. Still following with the use of the sights on his riffle he witnessed the blond lower himself down on the pavement, next to a young woman. She looked distressed. The blond took out something from the back pocket of his pants and showed it to the women. It looked like a wallet but as he returned it to his pocket the sun shone off it, glinting. It was obvious what it was, a police badge. 

The assassin fell back away from the gun, having already removed his finger from the trigger. He slumped down in shock, stomach rolling and heart thudding. The guy was a cop, a cop. No, no the panic welled up and not because killing a cop was a risky business, he was a professional after all and wouldn’t be sloppy enough to get caught. Nor was it because they always looked after their own, would go to great lengths to track down the murderer of a brother cop, no he was panicking because the assassin knew intimately how loyal and decent cops were. His own Father was one and was gunned down on a street not so different to this one and in the line of duty. That was what was about to happen to this cop too but this time at his hands. He would be as bad as the men who killed his Dad, no worse. They had been trying to avoid jail, this guy had done nothing, nothing at all to him. He was filled with rage that someone almost made him kill a cop, just for doing his duty most likely. Well there was no way David Michael Starsky was going to kill a cop. He already knew his father would be ashamed of the things he had already done. But at least he could tell himself they were most likely bad guys. He didn’t think that was the case with this guy. He scrambled back to his gun but this time just to use the sights and what he saw confirmed his thoughts. The big blond had one arm round the young woman on the ground and with the other he held out a tissue for her. Yes, there was no way he could kill him now, or there would be nothing left of the son of that honourable Father, Detective Starsky. 

Starsky watched the blond drive off with the young woman in the backseat of his car. Then he sat on the dirt, thinking. What was he going to do now? He could just disappear but even if that kept him safe, what about the cop? Sure, that wasn’t really his problem but if he didn’t want to shoot him, could he let him be murdered at all? No. He already knew the answer, after all if someone could have stopped his Dad’s killers, he would have wanted them to. And he knew how his Dad felt about fellow cops, the same way he’d felt about his fellow soldiers, brothers one and all. He couldn’t warn him he was in danger or he’d have to let slip how he knew, what he did for a living and the cop would have to arrest him. He’d have no choice, it’s not the sort of thing an officer of the law can ignore. So there was only one thing for it.

Hutch woke to the sound of banging on his front door. He opened it to the face of his irate neighbour.

‘What the hell Hutchinson, that car of yours has been hooting for twenty minutes. Didn’t you hear it?’

‘Nope, heard you banging on my door though.’

‘Good, so go and sort it.’ The angry trucker turned and stormed off. It wasn’t the first time Hutch had felt like smacking the guy. He would if he didn’t think he’d break his hand on the big lug. It was just as well he only stayed with his girlfriend when he was in town and thankfully that wasn’t very often. Otherwise he’d risk the broken hand. He hated that ugly bastard and the feeling was clearly mutual.

Hutch put on pants and a t-shirt and headed down the steps and to his car. No wonder the horn was blaring, the door was open and it did that when it was. He should have got it fixed but he’d been busy with one thing and another, especially the drama with his latest girlfriend. Hutch looked around because he knew the door shouldn’t be open and wished he had taken his gun. He walked to the back of his car and was jumped from behind by someone strong. 

They were evenly matched. Hutch shook the guy off and then turned to get in a punch. The guy recovered fast and got in a good punch of his own. Then they were going at it. Fists flying, knees, feet and elbows connecting with various body parts. It was only when Hutch found himself in a choke hold, with the man squeezing tight that he realized with his second to last thought that this guy was a professional killer and as he lost consciousness he could only think that this was it.

Hutch woke to a dark room; no, he was blindfolded. He went to move finding he was cuffed to what he then realized was a headboard of some kind. He tried his feet next and found them bound together. He couldn’t move much but that wouldn’t stop him testing his restraints. He struggled, kicking both his legs off the bed and rattling the handcuffs. So tight he would never slip out of them. It was hopeless but panic kept him fighting for a while until he forced himself to calm down so he could think. Was he alone? No.

‘I can hear you breathing you bastard! What do you want with me?’ Hutch snarled using an aggressive tone to hopefully mask his fear.

‘You’re beautiful when you’re angry, anyone ever tell you that?’ A thumb stoked Hutch’s bottom lip. ‘So beautiful.’

Hutch never missed a chance, he went to bite the thumb which was removed too quickly for his teeth to really sink in.

‘You’re a feisty one, aren’t you? Wild even.’

‘You better believe it pal. Let me loose, in a fair fight I’m a match for just about anyone, or you too much of a coward.’ Hutch knew this guy probably wouldn’t agree to it but he had to go down fighting somehow. 

‘No just got more sense than to give you that chance. You almost took me last night. Besides you look awful pretty all tied up like that.’

‘You better not get any ideas you sicko, I’ll fight you every step of the way.’

‘I’ll bet you would.’ A hand stroked Hutch’s abdomen near the waistband of his pants. ‘I could make it good for you. Better than a woman and less trouble too. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. Neither of us would.’

‘So this is about J- Forest sent you, didn’t he?’

‘You could say that. But you could be dead, I was meant to kill you.’

‘If you expect me to be grateful you can think again. And you touch me again, I’ll bite your hand off.’

A hand tapped Hutch’s stomach twice and then the man spoke again. ‘Okay, enough of this. If I promise I won’t touch you will you talk to me properly? We need to discuss some things like how we get out of this mess.’ 

‘We?’

‘Yes Ken, we. I’m in this up to my neck too. And if you don’t cooperate, you’re a dead man, hell we both are.’ 

Hutch felt the mattress dip toward the end of the bed and the man let out a heavy sigh. 

‘I don’t understand. You’ve kidnapped me and tied me to a bed because you want us to work together.’ Hutch felt like the blood supply that was cut off when he passed out must be hampering his ability to understand things. A minute ago, he was sure this guy was going to assault him, torture him and then finish him off. Now he felt like he wasn’t the only one who’s hands were tied. Could they really be in this together?

‘That’s about the size of it yeah. I’m not going to prison but I’m no cop killer either. So here we are.’ 

What could Hutch say to that? Usually his being a cop made people want to kill him more not less. But then killing a cop was a big deal. Not everyone wanted to bring that kind of trouble down on their heads. Was that all there was to it though? Hutch would have to get the measure of this guy if he was going to get through this in one piece. 

Starsky looked down on Hutch. He couldn’t make the man out. It was clear he was thinking, his jaw was set. He wished he knew more about this man and if they could really work together to come through this thing not too badly off. 

‘Okay, I’m going to need some more information. Do you know why he wants me dead?’ Hutch was in investigation mode, it always made him feel more in control.

‘The girl, Jeannie Walker. You were a threat. He wants her back.’ 

‘So he paid you to kill me?’

‘Yes.’

‘And why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t know you were a cop until…’

‘Until just before you were about to pull the trigger. So you saw me at work…not at the station though, so on the street.’

‘Don’t waste your time I didn’t let you get a look at me.’ 

‘Of course not you’re a professional aren’t you, if I had to guess I’d say ex- military.’

‘Don’t.’

‘Don’t what?’

‘Don’t do that, try and guess stuff about me. It won’t do ya any good. Get ya in trouble, that’s all. You’re wearing a blindfold for a reason, remember? And I could always change my policy on cop killing.’

‘Real, scary tough guy, aren’t you? Well I hate to break it to you but I’m a cop through and through, can’t just turn it off, you know.’

‘Alright, I’ll play. What do you think you know about me so far?’

‘You’re ex-military like I said. Probably left after Nam. Didn’t find many welcomes on your return. I imagine that’s how you ended up in your current line of work. I’d say you’re originally from New York but been here a while. You act like you’re just hired help but I can tell you’re intelligent. You’d like people to believe you don’t care about anything but you have some kind of code, which means some things matter to you. Oh, and that was no act before, you weren’t just tryin’ to shake me up, you like guys, like that. Maybe more than women. But don’t worry it’s not a lot to go on at least as far as finding out your identity, by which I mean your name and date of birth. I could give your age a guess but that still wouldn’t help me much.’

‘No you’ll never find out anything useful about me unless I want you to. And you’re wrong about one thing, I like men fine but I like women just the same. It’s called being bisexual. You on the other hand are all for the ladies, pretty convinced that’s all you’d ever want. But you certainly are touchy about the subject. You’re a good caring cop, who probably wants to save everyone and that’ll be your downfall. That’s what got you in this mess, with that girl. You take care of yourself, keep yourself in good shape maybe more than’s necessary even for a cop. You have a banged up old car and modest clothes. But my guess is you came from money and feel bad about it. Maybe even fell out with your parents over it. I got that from the fact that even being a cop for years hasn’t dented your optimism and if you’d grown up on the streets, you’d have grown out of that years back. So there you go, I guess I’m not so bad at this game either.’

‘Not bad except I was never rich. From farming stock. We didn’t have it so easy but maybe not as hard as growing up on the streets of New York I give you that.’ 

‘So that’s our backgrounds covered, and we’ve taken the measure of each other so let’s get to the important bit. Gunther wants you dead but maybe he’d settle for you givin’ up the girl. She’s what he really wants. I could offer to keep you here for a while so he can get the girl and make off with her.’

‘No.’

‘Come on work with me. How long have ya known this girl anyhow? she can’t mean more to you than your own life.’

‘I’m not giving her up.’

‘Well not much you can do to protect her from here is there?’

Hutch stayed quiet.

‘What aren’t you saying?’ Starsky had a bad feeling about this.

He went to the top of the bed and grabbed Hutch’s face. ‘Tell me.’

Hutch stayed quiet so Starsky slapped him.

Hutch spat his words and blood out. ‘Do what you want. He’ll never find her and neither will you. I got her out and I’ll never tell a soul where she is.’

‘You idiot, you bloody idiot! This guy will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And he has enough money and power to get it.’ 

‘Let him try. I won’t betray her. Not that I expect someone like you to understand loyalty or basic human decency. But I stick by people, I don’t give them up for anything.’

‘That’s big talk for a guy in your position. I know about real torture and no offence, but you wouldn’t stand up to it.’

‘You know nothing about me. Give it your best shot and see where it gets you.’

‘Everyone, and I mean everyone has their breaking point, no matter how brave they think they are.’

‘This isn’t getting us anywhere okay, look why don’t you let me go. Me and Jeannie can disappear, and you can do the same. Or we could take on Forest together. With your skills and mine he wouldn’t stand a chance and I could make sure you stay out of trouble with the law.’ Hutch softened his voice to make the appeal. 

‘Nice offer but no dice. I know better than to cross the wrong people, he’s the type to have friends in low places and his reach goes far enough that runnin’ ain’t an option.’

‘So what’s the alternative, kill a cop. That’s how far you’d have to go ta break me. And if you think his reach goes far. They go to great lengths for cop killers, there’s nowhere you can hide.’

‘I won’t have to kill you.’

‘Yes, you will.’ 

Starsky returned from making his phone call. He knew he’d just made a deal with the devil but what else could he do? In return for his and Hutchinson’s lives he would find out where Jeannie was stashed. And keep Hutch tied up until Forest and Jeannie were safely away. He had until Monday before his friend returned, nearly three days. He’d have to be gone by then. He was meant to be ‘housesitting’ and tending the bar but he’d closed it down instead. He needed the place to himself after the turn of events. He was supposed to have killed the guy clean and then stayed long enough to do his old friend this favour. Sure, he was cocky, over confident about not getting caught. But that was when he thought the mark was an ordinary Joe, the sort no one would make a fuss about finding the person who killed him. That was all before he’d been stuck with a cop and a determined, stubborn bustard to boot. This job had turned into a nightmare and it was going to get a lot nastier before it was done. 

‘So come on Ken, you’ve had a chance to think. You gonna make this easy on the both of us and tell me what I need to know or does this have to get nasty.’ Starsky said as he re-entered the room.

Hutch was silent.

‘Ken?’

‘Don’t call me that. That name’s for family, not scum like you.’

‘What shall I call you then, Detective Hutchinson? Or I know, how about Hutch?’

Hutch grimaced.

‘Hutch it is then.’

‘You’re no friend, so call me Detective.’

‘So, friends call you Hutch, huh? I think it suits you, that’s what I’ll use. We could be friends if you just talk to me.’

‘Go fuck yourself!’ Hutch’s words were venom filled as he spat them.

Starsky stalked closer to the bed. Without warning he punched Hutch in the face. ‘Don’t make me mess up your pretty face and don’t speak to me like that again.’

Hutch spat his bloody saliva in what he hoped was the man’s direction. ‘Like I said fuck you!’

‘We could go at this all day and it’d get us nowhere. You won’t give her up. But I have to make you so it’s time for another tactic.’ 

Starsky walked to the head of the bed and carefully uncuffed one of Hutch’s hands, holding it firmly in his grip, Hutch struggled so Starsky stopped in order to punch Hutch again, hard enough this time to knock him out. Then Starsky injected him with heroin.

When Hutch came around, he was cuffed to the bed again and feeling strange. Out of it. 

‘What…what the hell did you do?’

‘I…I injected you with heroin.’ Starsky said trying to keep the self-disgust from his own voice.

‘What?! Why…why...you bastard why?’

‘I have to get you to talk and once you’re hooked, you’d sell out your own Mother for a fix.’

Hutch went quiet.

‘Why don’t you tell me now, save yourself the pain?’ Starsky tried not to sound as near the edge as he felt.

‘Mother…’

‘What?

‘I was just wondering if scum like you have Mothers. You know someone who’d be thoroughly ashamed of what you’re doing here.’ Hutch filled his word with the disgust he felt.

‘Don’t bring her into it, besides this hardly makes the grade in things my Mother would be ashamed of. And she’s never gonna find out, so don’t really matter.’

‘She will if I have anything to do with it. I’ll let her know just what kind of animal her depraved so-called son really is. And if that doesn’t break her heart maybe I’ll finish her off. How would you like that? Your family paying for your mistakes. Every last stinkin’ one of them. Starting with your Mummy.’

‘It won’t work, your threats. I won’t beat you again, don’t need to. And you’d never hurt them, not in your nature. Good cop, good guy, remember?’

‘Maybe I’m starting to forget. You’re making me. If you ruin me, my life. You can’t know what you’ll unleash.’ Hutch’s hatred was clear.

‘I know you’re tryin’ to talk me out of injecting you again but it won’t work. And you don’t know who I am so threatening my family isn’t effective.’ Starsky was nervous despite himself. The shoe on the other foot was an unpleasant feeling. 

‘I’ve tracked down more formidable people on less intel. Don’t underestimate me you slimy son of a bitch!’

Starsky grabs Hutch by the shirt and pulls him of the bed in his rage. ‘Simmer down or I’ll make ya, get it?’

‘Make me then, show your true colours. You’re a sick bastard, who craves violence, gets off on it. Shut me up permanently why don’t ya? If you fill me with any more of that muck, you might as well.’

Silence fell as Starsky stared at the man he was hurting. Out of nowhere he pulled Hutch into himself holding him.

I’m sorry…I’m sorry, okay. Talk to me please, I don’t want to do this, to hurt you.’ 

Before Hutch could answer the door to the room opened. 

‘What the hell is going on here Starsky?’

Starsky was suddenly face to face with his old friend clearly back early from his weekend away.

‘I…I…um…’ Starsky stammered.

‘I knew you were into some kinky shit but this…you got a guy tied to my bed…and he…his face. What have you done to him?’ Huggy took a closer look not just at the state of the man’s face but at the face itself. ‘Wait…hang on a second, Hutch is that you?’

Huggy went to Hutch, sitting on the edge of the bed.

‘Are you okay Hutch?’

‘Hug? Huggy? Is that you?’

‘Yes, my blond brother. What the hell happened?’

‘He…he kidnapped me, beat me up and pumped me full of d-drugs.’

Huggy turned back to Starsky about to share a few choice words, only to find Starsky had a gun pointed right at him.

‘What are you gonna do with that?’ Huggy asked clearly shocked.

Hutch nudged Huggy who turned to him and without thinking removed the blindfold. Huggy’s only thought was that a man had a right to look his killer in the eye.

‘You, you told him my name Hug, and now, now he’s seen my face. I can’t let him live now. Don’t you get that, don’t think I can let you…’

Huggy’s eyes went wide. ‘So, you’re gonna kill me too, is that how it is?’

Hutch still blinking focused first on the gun and then up to the man’s face. ‘Starsky, is it? Starsky, listen you don’t have to do this. We can still work together to bring Forest down.’

‘And after you’ll just let me go will ya? Conveniently forget about all this.’

‘If that’s what it takes yeah.’

‘I don’t think so somehow.’

‘Well shoot me if you have to but let your friend go. He’s your old pal isn’t he and he won’t say anything about this if I tell him not to.’ Hutch reasoned.

‘To hell with that,’ Huggy cut in, ‘If he’s gonna kill you, he’s gonna have to kill me too. This turkey might have forgot what loyalty means but I sure as shit haven’t.’ 

‘Shut up, just shut up both of you. I need to think.’

For a few minutes the only sound in the room was heavy breathing.

‘There’s only one thing for it…one thing I can do.’ Starsky was talking more to himself than the others.

He lowered the gun and went to walk out the door.

‘Wait, where you goin’… don’t…don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt Jeannie.’ Hutch practically begged.

‘I can’t remember, you never told me where she is.’

‘But you’re going to try and find her anyway, aren’t you?’ Hutch tried to look round Huggy at Starsky, so Huggy moved out of the to allow eye contact.

Starsky looked away as soon as Hutch’s eyes came into view.

‘Please don’t, he’ll hurt her, and it’ll be your fault.’ Hutch pleaded.

‘I’ll do what I have to.’ Starsky said still not able to look into Hutch’s eyes.

‘Haven’t you done enough, just let me go so I can get her away from here.’

‘You’re right I’ve done more than enough this far and the rest I’m gonna do alone.’ 

With that Starsky left with the sounds of Hutch’s panic calling after him,’ Starsky, come back here, Starsky!’

Hutch was lucky that Huggy was so talented with a hair pin and equally lucky that one of his bar staff kept a spare few in the cash register. He had promised to forget how good and practiced Huggy was at getting out of police issue handcuffs in exchange for the freedom those skills afforded him. Not that Huggy would have left him cuffed, guilt had come off him in waves at what his so-called friend had done to Hutch and at his place as well. Hutch’s wrists were raw, and his hands were almost numb when Huggy released them and he had briefly wondered how safe it was to drive while still experiencing pretty bad pins and needles in both hands. But he had to get to where he had left Jeannie.

She wasn’t there when he arrived. So he had made his way to Forest’s house. He parked down the road and had snuck up to the house on foot. In the big black car on the drive he saw Jeannie in the back seat. He cautiously crept over and tried the back-seat door nearest him, it was locked. Jeannie saw him then and started to shout something, he silenced her with a finger to his own lips. He then proceeded to try all the other doors, still no luck. He then considered breaking one but as he’d noticed the keys weren’t in the ignition and the noise of breaking the window would alert someone before he could hot-wire the car, he dismissed the idea. He signalled to Jeannie that he was going inside but that he’d be back. She gesticulated wildly for him not to, but he knew if he didn’t then they’d only come after them. He had to stop that once and for all, one way or another. 

‘It was a big mistake coming here, and your last.’ Monk said.

Starsky felt the muzzle of a gun at the back of his head and knew he wouldn’t be fast enough to stop what was about to happen. A gunshot rang out. 

Starsky was surprized to find himself still standing he turned quickly to see Hutch less than a foot away, his gun smoking and Monk on the floor. He was about to thank him when he noticed the bloom of red blood spreading in a circle at Hutch’s side. Hutch wobbled and Starsky rushed to him, catching him just before he fell. 

‘Hey, hey…where did you come from?’ Starsky said.

Hutch just looked up at him wide eyed as Starsky lowered them to the floor. 

‘I need to take a look.’ Starsky said trying to get Hutch’s shirt up to take a look.

The wound revealed was bleeding badly but the position told Starsky that it was mostly flesh and muscle and hopefully nothing vital had been nicked. 

‘I need to stop the bleeding.’ Starsky said lowering Hutch so he was flat on the floor, he then removed his jacket and then jumper. He pressed the jumper to Hutch’ s side.

‘Are the others still around?’ Starsky asked.

‘One cuffed outside, one dead. It’s just Forest.’ Hutch said. 

‘I screwed up, sorry came in the back but didn’t get far. He had me cold, if you hadn’t come along…’ Starsky couldn’t finish the thought, he owed Hutch his life and no mistake.

‘You owe me one,’ Hutch said sounding strained and breathy. ‘I’m going to collect now, save Jeannie, go now.’

‘You need medical attention, I’m not gonna leave you here bleedin’.’

‘It’ll keep, save her. I can’t…please. Or did I save you for nothing.’ Hutch fixed him with a hard stare.

‘Have it your way but I’ll be back as quick as I can. With or without her.’ Starsky didn’t really want to go, not to save some women who as far as he could tell was nothing but trouble but then he couldn’t talk, could he?

He got outside fast but not quick enough to stop Forest driving away with Jeannie. It was lucky he still had his handgun with him and that he was a crack shot. He took aim and fired just once. It was enough to take out a tire. The car swerved and veered off the path and onto the grass before stopping. Starsky caught up to the car and Forest jumped out shooting. Again, it was only one shot that Starsky needed and Forest went down. The bullet hit him in the stomach but not bad enough for him to drop the gun.

‘Drop it.’ Starsky ordered standing over Forest.

Forest complied and then grabbed at his stomach, curling up in a sort of ball. Starsky lowered his gun. Having pulled it from an ankle holster Forest raised a gun to Starsky and went to pull the trigger. A gunshot rang out.

At the hospital Jeannie was waiting outside Hutch’s hospital room, looking in the small window. Hutch had his eyes closed, sleeping what at least looked peacefully.

‘Not going in?’

Jeannie turned around. ‘Oh, it’s you…the man from the house.’

‘That’s right. Is there a reason you’re out here and not in there?’

‘He’s sleeping.’ She said not even convincing herself.

Starsky just gave her a look.

‘Okay, okay, I…I guess I can’t think what to say to him…or how to say…he deserves better.’ She finally admitted. ‘I…I can’t do this to him. Put all my problems on him. Not after all I’ve already done to him. Would you…could, will you tell him I’m sorry but we can’t go back, not after what’s happened to us both. And make sure he knows he can’t come after me. I don’t want to be found. Need to look after myself and he should do the same. I love him but…’ 

‘I’ll tell him.’ Starsky said taking her hand and squeezing it before letting go. She walked away then and he didn’t watch her go. It was his turn to look in the little window and wonder about his worthiness. 

The bright hair of the man on the bed seemed to shine more in contrast to the clinical room he lay in. Such beauty surrounded all in white, the glow close to angelic. He wasn’t sure if Hutch was awake or not so he quietly asked, ‘How’er you doin’?’

Hutch’s eyes seemed heavy as he struggled to open them, answering Starsky’s question more aptly than words could. 

‘Not too bad. Mostly a flesh wound.’ Hutch’s rough voice was not overly consoling.

‘You…you didn’t have to do that, ya know. Coulda let him kill me, no more than I deserve for what I did to you.’

‘No, no I couldn’t, I’m a cop and a good one like you said.’ Hutch’s accompanying smile never reached his eyes.

‘Still your life is worth more than m-‘ Starsky was cut off by a moan from the other man.

‘Need a hand?’ Starsky offered realizing that Hutch was struggling to find a more comfortable position.

Hutch nodded and Starsky took an arm to help him forward and secured a couple of pillows behind him. Hutch nodded again. He couldn’t bring himself to thank this man. Then a thought occurred to him.

‘Jeannie?’

‘She’s okay Hutch…she um…I have a message from her.’

‘Out with it then.’ Hutch’s patience was worn out. The man seemed reluctant to tell him something which struck Hutch as ridiculous. How can you worry about hurt feelings when you happily tie someone to a bed and beat them? 

‘She, er, she said she loves you but you can’t be together after what’s happened to you both. And she doesn’t want you looking for her either.’ Starsky braced himself.

Hutch looked hurt, angry and then sort of far away sad to Starsky. Then he nodded mostly to himself, sighed and said,’ I guess it wouldn’t have worked. She probably couldn’t forgive me for letting her down and maybe I couldn’t…’ As he trailed off Hutch looked up at Starsky and then away again like he was ashamed of talking to him about this.

‘The only person who wasn’t to blame in all this was you.’ Starsky said like it was a universally excepted truth that no one could dare refute. 

‘Oh, I know full well who’s to blame.’ Hutch snapped.

‘Yes…hate me, hate me all you want. I’ll take it, I deserve it.’

‘I don’t need your permission. Just because I saved your life, don’t think it means anything. I wanted him dead more than I wanted you killed, that’s all. Lucky for you and tough shit for him.’ Hutch’s voice went ice cold.

Starsky faltered under Hutch’s glare. ‘I…I’m sorry…I saved the girl for you.’ He sounded pathetic to his own ears.

Hutch snorted derisively.

‘So what now, I hand myself in or you take me in, what?’ Starsky asked squirming.

‘I don’t know. Can’t do much from here but I do, I hate you. You’ve ruined my life. I had to tell them about the drugs, so they could treat me right. My captain will try and protect me, I’m pretty sure but it could still mean my career. My job and my girl in one day. Nice job pal. What I ever do to you, huh?’

‘I’ll tell them it was me; I forced the drugs on you.’ Starsky said plaintively.

‘They’ll still say I’m a junky, I’ll be laughed off the force.’

‘Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I really hope it doesn’t.’

‘You and me both.’ 

‘I…I’ve never felt like this before, so rotten. And I’ve done some awful things. I’d do anything, anything you name it. I can’t make it up but, anything.’ Starsky heard the desperation in his own voice. What was happening to him?

‘You really want to do something for me?’ Hutch asked.

Starsky nodded

‘See that door? Walk through it and keep on goin.’

It was the dismissal he deserved and with one last lingering look at the heroic man who was better than him in every way, Starsky did as requested.

It was on his way out of the hospital that Starsky bumped into Huggy, who was carrying a rather large plant, decorated with a red bow. 

‘What the hell are you doin’ here?’ Huggy asked with a snarl on his face.

‘Visiting Hutch.’

‘Visiting Hutch, are you serious?’

‘I wanted to check on him.’ He gave Huggy a look that said I mean what I’m saying.

‘After what you did, you need to stay the fuck away from him.’ Huggy voice brooked no argument. 

‘I know, said the same himself, don’t mean I can do it. Don’t want to. I want to make it up to him, and you if you’ll let me.’ 

‘Let you…I don’t want you with in a hundred miles of me and as for Hutch you’ll stay away from him if you know what’s good for you.’ 

‘That sounds like a threat Hug, that’s not like you.’

‘It is where my friends are concerned. And it’s a promise. I’ll protect Hutch from you, like I didn’t before.’ 

‘Huggy, it wasn’t your doin’ and Hutch won’t blame you. I truly am sorry, take it back if I could.’ 

‘This isn’t school Starsky, there’s no backsees or do overs. I’m not gonna slap you on the back and say forget about it. Even if I could forget about the gun in my face, what you did to Hutch…unforgiveable.’ Huggy shook his head in disgust. 

‘We were best friends once Huggy, remember?’ 

‘My best friend was gone for years and looks like he never came back. And the positions been filled.’ Huggy shifted awkwardly partly at his words and partly due to the wight of the plant he was holding.

Huggy’s words stung Starsky but what could he say. He deserved to be replaced. And despite everything he wanted to reach out to Huggy, if for no other reason than to help carry the ridiculously large plant. 

‘And I can’t think of a better man to take my place. Hutch is a really good guy. I like him too, Huggy. He saved me when he had no reason to.’

‘Hutch is like that and I gotta get goin’ to him now.’ Huggy shifted the plant again as he spoke and started to walk away. 

Starsky turned to face the direction Huggy had gone.

‘Huggy?’

Huggy turned back slightly. ‘What?’

Starsky went to him. ‘You and Hutch you are jus’ friends, right?’

‘What we are and what we aren’t are no concern of yours my man. What I do know is he can do better than that girl, much better than you, better even than me. In short he deserves better.’ With that Huggy turned and shuffled away.

Starsky just nodded and walked away too. 

He wasn’t surprised to be called into the station; the only surprise was that it had taken so long. His best guess was that the drug taking had somehow caught up with Hutch. The drug taking Starsky had forced on him. He supposed Hutch wanted him to make a statement saying that he forcibly injected him, giving Hutch no choice in the matter. He felt sick remembering what he had done. But he had come here to do this one thing, to achieve some kind of recompense. He was honest enough with himself though to realize that he was thoroughly terrified. After all kidnapping, beating and injecting a cop with heroin was not something the justice system would take in the least bit lightly and he knew he could be facing decades for his crimes. And they were heinous, so that was what he deserved but that didn’t make him any less scared. He refused to be a coward about it, wouldn’t run from his punishment. He had started to become someone different, someone better or perhaps just gradually begun returning to who he used to be before he so decidedly lost his way. All he was sure of was that he wanted to be a better man. And he wanted to be that for someone in particular. It came as a surprise to him that he found himself wanting to change for someone else when he hadn’t before, not for his Mother or Brother and not for himself either. But if he was going to change for anyone it made sense it was for someone like the man he was here for. A decent, brave, moral man, so much like his Father and not just in what he chose to do for a living. But perhaps it was more than that, the feelings were confusing but the warmth in them was not, he hadn’t felt anything like it in a long while. 

Starsky walked through the buzzing squad room, where everyone was busy with either paperwork or on the telephone. He couldn’t see Hutch though and his nerves were getting the best of him, he was about to turn and give into the fear when a door opened and out walked the blond cop. The man turned and when he saw Starsky he motioned for him to follow him. 

He followed Hutch to his desk.

‘Sit.’ Hutch commanded.

Starsky sat opposite him and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. When Hutch didn’t speak, head down in some paperwork or other, Starsky cleared his throat.   
‘What am I doin’ here? You want a statement or something?’

Hutch shook his head slightly and Starsky thought he looked amused.

‘Put me out of my misery already, will ya? If I’m goin’ to jail I need to arrange some things. I know you’ve no reason to give a shit about that. But I’d like to call my Ma and-‘

Hutch held up his hand to silence Starsky. ‘I think you should fill this in,’ was all he said and handed Starsky some paperwork.

‘What’s this?’ Starsky asked and Hutch just nodded at the paper as if to say read it for yourself. So Starsky did.

‘This…this an application for the Police Academy?’ He made it a question because he couldn’t believe it. 

‘Yes.’ Hutch simply stated.

‘Is this some kind of joke?’

‘No, I think something positive should come of the whole Forest mess.’

Starsky looked incredulous. ‘You can’t be serious; you should want me behind bars not walkin’ the beat.’ 

‘What good would that do?’

‘You hate me remember, do you good to get justice.’

‘I’ve had time to think about it. You were just the weapon. A blunt object for Forest’s malice.’

‘Gee thanks, just a hired thug in your eyes, guess I earned that huh?’

‘Yeah but you did save Jeannie and got help for me.’

‘Well I’m not a total monster.’ Starsky’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

‘No, and maybe you could do something positive with your life.’ 

It was condescending but it was also the first time someone had even bothered to see anything even slightly worthy in his so Starsky let it go.

‘Why are you doin’ this?’

‘Like I said-‘

‘Yeah, I heard what you said, I still don’t get it.’

The blond suddenly couldn’t meet his eyes. The blue shimmered a little like tears were barely held in as he looked off to the distance. Starsky’s heart went out to him.

‘Is this about…the girl, Jeannie, you feel like you let her down, couldn’t save her so I’m the next best thing?’ 

‘No, it’s not!’ Hutch said trying not to let anger get the best of him. ‘It’s…I know about Detective Sergeant David Starsky.’ 

‘Don’t,’ Starsky said jumping to his feet.

‘I know all about your Father Starsky.’ And what happened to him.’ 

‘I said don’t,’ Starsky said turning away.

Hutch got up then himself and came up behind him, to his left, stopping just behind Starsky.

‘I hated you, you know, really hated you, until I found out more about you. Then I started thinking…you could have pulled the trigger, easily given what I believe you do for a living, and I’d’ve been gone just like,’ Hutch clicked his fingers, ‘ but you didn’t, you chose to spare my life and then you kept on doing that. Not only that, you didn’t want anyone else to kill me either, did you? So, in your own, slightly messed up way, you were trying to protect me. I couldn’t protect myself; I was in too deep with Jeannie, way too deep. Risking everything for a woman who wouldn’t even stick around when things got rough, not my smartest move.’ 

Hutch squeezed Starsky’s shoulder but Starsky shrugged him off.

‘You’re givin’ me too much credit, you don’t even know me.’

‘Maybe I am, because yeah we could have just worked together from the start to bring Forest down but you’ve forgotten how to work with someone instead of against them. And that’s my whole point you’re used to no one giving you credit, no one has, have they since maybe your Dad. Your Mum sent you away, your brother went to prison straight outa school and you joined the army to try and give back the Starsky’s their good name, honour your Father. But it backfired didn’t it. It led you down this path and now you think there’s no way back.’ 

‘There isn’t. And Huggy sure has been runnin’ his mouth off, ain’t he?’

‘He isn’t my only source,’ Hutch said clearing his throat, ‘hasn’t wanted to talk about you much.’

No…no he wouldn’t. and like I said you don’t know me. Readin’ about a man, hearin’ about him isn’t the same as knowing the real man and what’s happened in his life. You might be able to read between the lines better than most but that don’t mean you know me. You don’t. I liked some of what I did to you. What do you think of that?’

‘I don’t buy it.’

‘Well you oughta, tying you to that bed, went through my mind all the things I’d like to do to ya.’ Starsky said with a leer. 

‘Come off it.’ 

‘Listen I ain’t gonna turn into some great guy just ‘cause you want me to, alright? I’m scum, get used to it. The likes of you wouldn’t want me on the sole of your shoe, never mind in close proximity. And this…this…’ Starsky waved the half screwed up forms Hutch hand given him and then screwed them all the way into a ball and dumped them on Hutch’s desk. ‘Is a load of bull shit!’ 

After giving Hutch a hard look Starsky stalked off and out of the precinct. Hutch didn’t go after him. 

He’d been at the bar for maybe an hour and after gulping down his first beer, he was nursing the second. The alcohol wasn’t helping but then nothing could. He was tempted to lower his head and just try and sleep here. He was having no luck at home. Cold wood somehow was more inviting than a soft pillow and so much more like what he deserved.

A slight cough from behind him interrupted his wallowing.

‘Can I sit here?’

Starsky looked back to see Hutch standing behind him.

‘Could I stop you?’ Starsky said with a shrug.

‘No, but you could buy me a beer.’

Starsky gestured to the barmaid with his beer and a nod to Hutch and after a moment she placed a beer in front of Hutch.

‘Thanks.’ Hutch said but it wasn’t clear if he was talking to Starsky or the barmaid so Starsky remained silent. 

After a few minutes Starsky said, ‘Did you follow me?’ 

‘No, this is where I always come for a beer. Bit surprised to find you here though.’

‘Yeah well I needed a drink, and this is as good a place as any.’

‘Okay.’

‘So you’re staying?’

Hutch said nothing.

‘Only I thought I’d scared you off before.’

‘I don’t scare easy; besides I figure I just hit too close to the mark earlier and you were just lashing out in response to it.’ 

‘Perceptive devil, aren’t you?’

‘So I’m told. Mostly by perps. And they don’t put it so kindly.’

‘I bet they don’t.’ 

After a few moments of silence Hutch said, ‘You’re scared of something. I can tell. What is it?’

‘Why…why did you suggest being a cop? You never explained, not really. I’m not my Father.’

‘No, I guess that’s true but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be a good cop, a different kind of cop, but still good. Put those skills of yours to good use.’

‘For a change you mean.’

Hutch shrugged.

‘You really believe I could be a good cop, after everything…’ Starsky couldn’t finish the thought, after what I put you through went unsaid.

‘Yeah I do.’

‘I’m not so sure.’

‘I guess there’s only one way to find out. And don’t you miss it, being part of something?’

‘You mean like when I was in the army?’

Hutch nodded.

‘I miss knowing that the man beside you had your back and you had his.’

‘Well that’s what it’s like on the force, with a good partner.’

‘If that’s true and yours is so great, where was he when you were in the hospital?’

Hutch went rigid and silent beside him and after a few minutes ticked by Starsky turned fully to look at him closely.

‘Shit, what did I say?’

‘Nothing, you’re right I guess my current partner isn’t so great, he didn’t come looking for me when I disappeared and probably didn’t notice or even care that I did. But…it wasn’t always like that. My first partner was true blue in uniform or out, he was the best guy I ever knew. We were the closest of friends even if he had a few years on me.’

‘What happened?’

‘He, um…he rushed into a building where we thought a murderer had his latest victim, but it was a trap, the place was booby trapped, set to detonate when the door opened. If I hadn’t been back at the car calling for back up, then…’ Hutch’s voice cracked as he trailed off.

‘What was his name?’

‘Roger…Roger Bright.’

‘I’m sorry, I lost a few guys and when it’s so violent and such a waste, I know, it’s hard.’

‘Yeah but he taught me a lot, how to be the best kind of cop. I’ll always be grateful.’

‘And you never found another partner like him.’

‘No, no one could be but…doesn’t stop my Captain tryin’, think he’s given up on me now though. He just hopes whoever I’m paired with can put up with me.’

‘I’m not sure anyone would want to be paired with me, I’m no team player.’

‘You were once though, cared for your men.’

‘Yeah but that feels like a long time ago.’

Hutch taps Starsky’s hand lightly, ‘Could be that way again if you let it.’

Starsky jumped up dislodging Hutch’s hand but after a second grabbed for it again.

‘Come on.’ Starsky said pulling Hutch’s hand to get him up.

‘Where are we going?’

Starsky didn’t answer, just pulled Hutch towards the men’s room.

He checked that they have the place to themselves and then he locked the outer door and pushed Hutch against the wall.

‘Do you have any idea what you’re doin’ to me?’ Starsky asked eyes wild.

‘What am I doing?’ Hutch asked all innocent.

‘You’re driving me wild, that’s what.’ Starsky said and then leaned into Hutch.

He kissed Hutch firmly on the lips and then brought his hands up to Hutch’s hips pushing them slightly into the wall.

Hutch moaned, a sound more of pain than pleasure.

Starsky pulled back, ‘What is it?’

‘My side it’s still sore.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, it’s only been a few weeks, the stitches aren’t out long and well I bruise like a peach.’

‘I could kiss it better.’

‘Seriously, is that your best line?’

Starsky sighed.

‘Besides, I’m not sure this is such a great idea.’ Hutch said.

‘And here I was thinking it was the best one I had in ages.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ Starsky paced away from Hutch. ‘I can’t blame you, I’m not a good guy, like I said.’

‘I’m just not sure I could, you know, I could trust you with this.’

‘Say no more, I get it. You probably think it ud mean you had Stockholm syndrome or something.’

‘I don’t think that.’

‘Oh, I think there’s some of that goin’ on, only in reverse.’ Starsky said looking a little sheepish.

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means it’s the hostage that’s supposed to fall for the captor not the other way around. But I’m under your spell. I don’t know how it happened I only know I’d do anything you asked.’

Hutch was gobsmacked, ‘You can’t be serious.’

‘I am. Maybe it’s because I’m so damned sorry I hurt you, or because you remind me of the best man I ever knew or maybe that you made me care about someone outside of myself for the first time in years but I’m yours, you can do with me whatever you want.’ 

Starsky looked into Hutch’s warm blue, blue eyes and went to him wanting another kiss. The door rattled beside them and they both turned to it, knowing whoever it was would go away when they found it locked, accept then it was being unlocked.

The door opened and in walked Huggy Bear. 

‘What the hell is goin’ on in here?’ Huggy demanded.

‘Take it easy Hug, everything’s okay.’ Starsky assured.

‘What was he doin’? Is he after you again?’ Huggy looked at Hutch ignoring Starsky.

‘No, he’s not…he…we…’ Hutch stammered.

‘I’m not gonna hurt him Huggy. I swear, Hutch is safe with me.’

Huggy let out a harsh laugh, ‘Safe with you, of all people, who you try’na kid?’

‘It’s okay Huggy, really.’ Hutch said trying to defuse the tense situation.

‘The hell it is. I want you out of here now, Starsky!’

Starsky put both his hand up, ‘I’m just try’na fix things, with both of you, that’s all.’

‘Looked to me like you were doin’ more than try’na fix things with my blond brother here.’

‘I care about him Huggy, deeply in fact. And I know I don’t deserve anything, not his forgiveness, not his time or anything else this wonderful man can give me. But I’ll earn his trust, protect him with my life from now on. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m worthy of him.’ 

‘You’re not and never will be. You can’t be what you no longer are. I don’t recognize my old friend at all.’

‘I know you don’t think much of me, I don’t blame you, how could I. And Hutch does deserve better like you said but that’s why I’ll do everythin’ in my power to be better.’

‘I still want you to leave.’

Starsky was about to argue the point when Hutch chipped in, ‘I think he’s right, Starsk, you go. Wait outside okay, we need to finish our chat.’

Starsky lowered his head, resigned. He walked towards the toilet door and Huggy moved aside to let him leave without looking at him.

Starsky was standing, legs crossed and propped against the wall to The Pits, next to the entrance when Hutch emerged about fifteen minutes later.

‘How’d it go?’ Starsky asked although Hutch’s expression told him everything.

‘He’ll come around eventually, I’ll wear him down. But I think you need to give him space for a while. He’s not happy about the idea of us…you know, gettin’ close.’

‘I got that.’ Starsky said blowing out air.

‘He’s my friend, Starsky and a good one. I can’t lose him. Not when he’s just protecting me.’

‘You won’t, if it comes to it, I’ll walk away.’ Starsky said thinking that maybe there was more to Huggy’s behaviour than just being a protective friend.

‘I don’t want that either.’

‘Can’t blame him for not forgiving me, can’t forgive myself. Not sure I can believe you have either.’

‘I’m not all the way there, yet. I’m getting there but you need to give me time, too.’

‘I will, however long you need. I won’t push my luck.’

‘Good.’

‘But I would like to take you somewhere, spend some time. Show you there is a little of the gentleman still in me.’

‘I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere to talk. My place maybe, but just talk. This is all new to me.’ Hutch said sounding nervous.

‘I know. It’s not just that you’ve got to learn to trust me, you’ve got to get used to trustin’ a guy this way ‘cause I’m your first, aren’t I?’

Hutch nodded a little shyly.

‘We’ll take it slowly then, as slowly as you need.’ Starsky reached for Hutch’s hand and then squeezed it. ‘I know I’m a lucky guy, anyone would be proud to have you by their side.’ 

Hutch smiled a wide and genuine smile then, lighting up his whole face and pulling at Starsky’s heart.

Starsky smiled back and sighed happily.

‘Come on let’s go.’ Hutch said pulling Starsky by the hand.

‘Where you lead. I’ll follow, babe.’ Starsky said putting an arm around Hutch’s shoulders.

Hutch was taking Starsky to his place and Starsky thought, this is what he’d been waiting for since coming back from the war, to finally feel he was going home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the comments and suggestions on my last AU. It was fun to think about Hutch at the academy and any other suggestions are welcome.


End file.
